in Pitt Football 1,527 Words

Could Happen…

Here is a fun piece by our resident playwright Eric…Heard outside Neyland Stadium in the parking lot after the game…..

Big B: Woo hoo! Hail to Pitt. What a win! We’re gonna fly the WUP flag high and proudly tonight!

Richman: Someone toss me a beer from the cooler. Better yet, make it two. A win over Tennessee warrants double fisting.

Joe L: So that’s what it’s like to play in a real college stadium? The orange and white stripes were pretty impressive and Rocky Top was awesome. Did I mention that Penn State sucks and so does Sweet Caroline?

(An unnamed “Panther” Fan arrives)

“Panther” Fan: Hey boys! I drove 14 hours to see that? Wow did we suck. How did we win? We couldn’t tackle. Couldn’t run the ball.  And couldn’t cover in the secondary. Thank god that Milton and Hooker reminded me of Tino Sunseri. Couldn’t shoot fish in a barrel. 

Big B: Come on. We just went on the road against a talented SEC team, in front of 80,000 fans, and pulled out a “W”. You can’t be a little satisfied?

“Panther” Fan: Did I mention that our special teams were a disaster? Does a blocked punt ring a bell?

Big B: For the most part I can’t argue with you there. But hey, did you see Tipton, my boy from Apollo, down that punt on the 2?

“Panther” Fan: You mean the 7th year Senior who now qualifies for AARP? 

(Richman belches)

Richman: Sorry about that guys. 

Joe L: You at least have to admit that Kenny looked good today. How about that dime he threw to Stovall for our first TD?

“Panther” Fan: Whatever. Getting back to special teams, and speaking of dimes, Narduzzi must have a dime-sized brain for trying to kick a 56 yard field goal, on the road, with a freshman kicker. He got bailed out by a lame penalty flag, otherwise we might be talking about that boneheaded move after a loss instead of a win. By the way, did I show you guys the list of replacement coaches that I always carry around in my back pocket? I tried to email it to Heather this week, but apparently she wasn’t receiving e-mails due to being on vacation in the Outer Banks.

Joe L: Listen, Kenny completed 66 percent of his passes, had two passing touchdowns, one rushing, and converted two fourth downs with his feet. That’s a great game by anyone’s standards.

“Panther” Fan: Well, he should play that way, he’s been at Pitt long enough. Wasn’t he our starting QB when Obama took office? And if you look at the stat sheet, Kenny only averaged 7.9 yards per completion. Surely Reed won’t be impressed with that. We throw horizontally, not vertically, which is a problem.

(Editors Note: Hey it’s Reed here. You know, the guy who started the POV, the best blog in the history of Pitt Football. The mention of Obama borders on political discussion, which you all know is frowned upon here. Keep it up Panther Fan and I might have to ban you.

Big B: You also can’t ignore the effort of the defense. Five sacks, big goal line stand in the fourth quarter……

“Panther” Fan: Hold on a second Bernie. Did you watch the same game as I did? We gave up 34 points to a team in complete disarray. Only 71 scholarship players dressed for the Vols. 35 kids have left their program in the last two years. New coach, new playbook. Terrible quarterbacks. I could go on and on. If we were any good, we’d have won by 30.  And by the way, on the goal line stop, Petrishen and Pine were both unblocked due to incompetent Tennessee linemen. Hell, if UPitt were in the game, he’d have made that tackle.

Richman: Speaking of UPitt, he texted me during the game. Said he was impressed by the size of the Tennessee logo painted at midfield. He also mentioned that the tiny Panther head painted on the 50 at Heinz Field for the Massachusetts game looked like it was microscopic and involved third graders from the Carrick middle school.

(Big B’s cell phone rings. It’s Ike. Calling from LAY-TROBE. Bernie puts him on speaker)

Ike: Bernie!!! How about that win! Bring on Alabama! I told UPitt this week that we would cover and that he should bet big on the Panthers. He said that he might put ten grand on Pitt. He also said that he would donate the winnings to Pitt Athletics and ask for the AD office to be named the “Mehalovich 2000 Yellow Blouse Athletic Director”. Has a catchy ring to it, doesn’t it?

Big B: So Ike, do you actually believe that this win could propel us to the ACC Coastal Title?

Ike: You think too small Bernie. You saw what Georgia did to Clemson, didn’t you? Clemson lost to an SEC team. We just beat an SEC team. We are primed for the ACC title. We’ve got Clemson’s number. This is Pat Narduzzi’s year. I think if things fall right, we might make the College Football playoff.

Big B: I was thrilled with the win today, Ike, but isn’t that going a bit too far?

Ike: Heck no! If we can become national title contenders in Women’s Volleyball and Men’s Soccer due to Heather Lyke’s excellence, we can do the same in football.

“Panther” Fan: Uh, Ike. Ms. Yellow Blouse didn’t hire either Dan Fisher or Jay Vidovich.  And it’s a pipe dream for our Football program to be anything but mediocre as long as she is our AD and Meatballs is our head coach…. Man, I’m thirsty. Hey Richman, toss me a Fanta.

Ike: I’ve gotta go. I can’t listen to your negativity after such a program-changing win.

(Ike disconnects call)

Joe L: I just got a text from Richard in South Carolina. He is concerned that we rushed for less than 100 total yards and averaged under 2 yards per carry. He says that statistically speaking, we can’t expect to win many games with an abysmal running game.

“Panther” Fan: He’s right. Our offensive line sucks. Our running backs suck. And our 80 year old offensive coordinator sucks worst of all.

Big B: Come on now. I know that we’ve become a pass-oriented team. But when we needed to salt the game away in the last 5 minutes, the line opened holes and both Flea and Izzy moved the chains.

“Panther” Fan: Listen, Bernie, you are forgetting that we are Pitt. SOP, remember? We just beat a mediocre SEC team that won 3 games last year. How is that impressive? History under gorilla calves tells us that he’ll lose to Western Michigan or New Hampshire. As a matter of fact, Erie Express is so confident in that happening, that he told me before the game that he has already made a tee time for next Saturday afternoon so that he doesn’t have to watch the carnage. I got a call from danh72 too. He hates Narduzzi so much,  he predicts a 4 win season.

JoeL: Well I know where I’ll be next Saturday morning. I’ll be in the Red 5A lot bright and early, setting up an epic tailgate with Lastrow, a.k.a., Fran the Franchise. This team is different. I’m going to channel my inner Ike and say we get on a roll and wind up winning 9 or 10 games this year.

(Editors note: Hi. Its me again, Reed. Don’t you people pay attention? Don’t you understand that we are never going to win nine or ten games under the Chris Bickell ’97 Head Football Coach Pat Narduzzi?  We are a crap program, recruiting two and three star players, playing in crap bowls until further notice. When will you people get that through your thick skulls?)

Big B: I’m starting to get on the bandwagon too Joe L. Did you see our receivers today? Addison, Mack and Stovall were terrific. Shocky threw a great block. Krull is a weapon that we have been missing for years. We have scored 92 points in two games. The receivers only had 2 drops today. What’s not to like?

“Panther” Fan: How about Heather, Narduzzi and Whipple to start? And just to be thorough, I’ll toss in our defensive coordinator, Bates. Our linebackers and secondary couldn’t cover anyone today, and treated tackling like it was an accident.

Big B: Whaddya say we just celebrate a hard earned victory here in Knoxville and worry about the rest of the season on Monday. We all invested a lot of time and money to come here for the weekend, and it was all worth it. For me, it was the best Pitt road trip since the Clemson upset. The Tennessee fans were fantastic, the Pitt fans turned out in droves, and a great weekend was had by all. 

Hail to Pitt!

57 thoughts on “Could Happen…”

  4. That was hilarious, thanks Eric! Also just checking, were those actually Editor’s notes by Reed, or a character in the playwriting process, like the Narrator or Muse?

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  5. That was the best thing I ever read on the Pitt Pov. I assume “panther fan” was either Upit or TEX. Had to be.both are not fans, I must confess that because of those two and Reed’s up/down, yes/no, blog/no blog, whichever the wind blows attitude I no longer read the blog. So it is a love hate thing with me (like me and my wife HA!)… I want to read it bur it is so negative due to Tex, Upitt, Reed, others, that frankly it is no fun anymore. This blog WAS a wonderful distraction that brought me and others lifelong friendships. Now it has devolved into Tex and others replying to every comment with negativity. Who wants that crap at our age. Let’s have some fun with civil, non political discourse like most people do. I look forward to reading this blog on a regular basis once again. Eric,… that was awesome and much needed. I thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was a fairly accurate estimate of the postgame.

    Loved the first editor’s comment, Reed. Had me laughing.

    Full disclosure- after the game, I came across two dozen Vols fans with a giant karaoke machine. Young gals signing hip hop tunes. They asked me to sing and I obliged. Two stanzas of Sweet Caroline.

    Jaws dropped when I substituted “Go Pitt!” For “So Good”. All were puzzled.

    And I was in key because my vocal chords had been properly lunricated.

    Thanks for the laughs Eric!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well if Tennessee did have a QB that could hit the broad side of a barn at 40 yards, pitt probably would have lost. Pitt couldn’t tackle. Pitt couldn’t run the ball. Pitt had poor special teams. And yes there were at least two coaching brain farts in the game.

    But Kenny played extremely well. His line protected him. His receivers caught the ball and made some good yards after catch. Pitt didn’t give up after being down ten and fought their way back. Whipple showed some creativity with a trick play. Pitt fans actually travelled to an away game and were loud.

    It was a good win for pitt despite the Vols being a mediocre team. Perception matters and beating any sec school on the road is huge.

    Watch out for western Michigan though. It’s a trap game. I’m telling UPitt to take western Michigan and the points.

    Again, Vols fans were great. Very similar to pitt fans and people from SW PA. And when I told a few where Pitt plays their games, they all thought that was strange. I kid you not. One even snickered when I told him we now play basketball on the former stadium site.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Everyone should experience a game with Bernie “big B”,…aka “the mayor”,..aka…the “Pitt ambassador “ and Joe L. Throw Fran and Scooter in and it’s a PARTY!

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Reed, can you send me my comments that you disallowed, as I don’t want to lose that well thought out prose. Don’t worry I won’t try to post again, just want to save for posterity

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  16. Eric — that was extremely clever. Clearly you’ve been paying attention and know these POVers….

    Too bad Scooter wasn’t there…. 😊

    Go Pitt.

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  18. Michelle Chester at the NCAA volleyball sight has Pitt correctly ranked at #3 in her weekly Power 10 rankings. Louisville jumps up to #5.

    https://www.ncaa.com/video/volleyball-women/2021-09-13/college-volleyball-rankings-louisville-utah-break-power-10

    This evening two ACC volleyball teams defeated two ranked SEC volleyball teams. Louisville defeated defending champion Kentucky for the first time since in the 2012 and a 7 match losing streak to their in-state rivals. Florida State stunned Florida for a win few saw coming. These two wins will boost the RPIs of all ACC teams. Now if this would only carry over to ACC football!

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Well done lads, could see the tailgate conversations playing in mind.

    Tough game to analyze.

    Outstanding play by QB and WR.
    Very good DL, and clutch plays by LB.
    OL pass protection good, run blocking bad
    RBs were as effective as they could be given no room to run.
    WMG trick play worked, horizontal pass game didn’t . . . . . AGAIN.
    Nardummy kept team focused after horrible start, but makes stupid call on long FG
    Special teams play was horrible.

    A game where both the optimists and the pessimists had arguments to make.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Be interesting to know what happened on Saul’s kick. Yes, it was a poor coaching decision, but the kid must be able to kick it that far…

      Course if he misses from that far, which was the most likely outcome, you still give up field position…. Duzz has to accept that Kessman-type FGs will not be available for this season…

      Go Pitt.

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  21. Great article Eric, and spot on with the personalities and their comments! Thanks for a good laugh to end the night.

    Looking forward to seeing you all in Red 5A on Saturday!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Man… my memory is that only ONE “Panther” Fan drove 900 miles to Knoxville to see the game. And that “Panther” Fan had nothing but GOOD to say about the experience and the game.

    Know what’s really funny? Should Pitt somehow hit a BUMP in the road to ACC Coastal glory during the next couple of weeks, we’re going to see KOOL-AID spill out all across PittPOV Avenue.

    Not that’s HILARIOUS!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Well done, Eric! It is amazing to me the number of good writers we have here on the PittPOV.

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    1. That is a very interesting interview, Joe. Thanks for posting it. I especially liked hearing the discussion of the defense of the Jared Pass. The fine line between a highlight reel TD and a head-scratching blown up sideways pass is so thin it’s amazing.

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  29. Holy crap Richman, do you actually think I look for your comments and decide which ones to approve?? Believe me, your thoughts are not that important in any way. “Disallowed”! You have a ton of nerve and I’ll take that thought as a personal insult.

    WordPress holds comments based on certain wordage – I hardly ever read the comments much anymore, maybe look at the blog once a day if that. To think I’d spend one minute wondering what you might say is a large egotistical stance on your part.

    Your absence from the POV didn’t create a ripple of notice or concern with me – believe it or not…

    As I say to all readers who complain about the ‘negativity’ on here – there are many other Pitt discussion sites you can enjoy. Hope you find one you like.

    Or…you could get with the so very highly effective Pitt Fan Committe and start your own!! I suggest you call “Unicorns, Rainbows and Pitt Script!” (Don’t forget the exclamation point – it sells your personal attitude about the Pitt Athletic Dept.)

    Liked by 1 person

  30. I love having Tex and UPitt commenting on a regular basis…Wish I could wave a wand and bring back FRANKCAN, EMEL, the Dark Knight, RKB and Dr. Tom just to mention some of my favorite posters….not the same without them. We are positivos, negativos and whiners (pick your category) but we are all better together!!!

    Liked by 6 people

  31. For everyone’s info:

    I have said many times since taking back the POV that I am distancing myself as much as possible due to other commitments and interests in my life. So – If you don’t see one of your posts it is being held by WordPress, not me. WordPress sends me an email saying the comment is being “held in moderation”.

    I look at my email only once or twice a day. Early in the morning and around 9 pm. I’m not tethered to it (or texts) as others are. If I don’t see the WordPress email I can’t approve or delete the held comment.

    Now – the only time I delete a comment is if is over the top in breaking the commenting rules we have on here. Even then if I can edit out the crap and the comment is still a valid discussion point I will take the time to edit and approve it – and make an editor’s note in the comment box that I did that modification.

    If a comment I feel needs deleting and it is written by someone who I have either a phone number or email address for I’ll get in touch to discuss it. Even that courtesy on my part takes more time then I want to spend on here but I believe in civility.

    Last point – I really do this only for you readers. No subscription fees, advertising, etc. so that you have a place for in-depth discussions. No profit for me and a drain on my time and energy. I don’t want your money, or any kudos from you. Just, as said above, a certain civility on all our parts.

    Being accused of blatant censorship is personally insulting to me and really pisses me off. I don’t stoop to that level of thinking as obviously some do, and ask you not too also.

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    1. while I recall some history, rereading richman’s posts above, maybe you’re over-reacting a bit Reed

      seems he blamed WordPress for the issue rather than you singling out him for moderation

      second post was generally lighthearted, 3rd one is the one you took as an attack but might just as easily be intended to be generally humorous – save my “well thought out prose”

      then “am I banned” – humor too? obviously if his other posts are going through, he knows he’s not banned

      maybe I’m just a thick(skinned and otherwise) idiot but I don’t quite read it toward the direction of your reaction

      if I’m wrong, screw you richman!
      (don’t think so, so 🙂 )

      Liked by 3 people

        1. give me a little time,,, and once I’m banned, can I still come here and read?

          consider it, the site will be better for THAT decision Reed 😦

          btw, I MUST be one of few if any who actually just randomly had our paths cross while we were out with the wives shopping in Columbia,,,, that should give me a little leeway as we didn’t square off and do battle!

          🙂

          Liked by 2 people

  34. Some things that were different about this game that bodes well.

    First win against an ooc P-5 opponent in 13 years.

    Overcoming a miserable start and a 10 point deficit.

    Very few miscues by our O-line.

    How many times have we faced a QB that has their best most accurate game of the year? Yet we discount the win because we get lucky and have one with a very bad day and knock him out before he makes up for it.

    We beat two really good running quarterbacks.

    KP was very accurate and made good decisions all day.

    When things were looking very dire, Brandon Hill makes a splash play to avoid SOP.

    Our running game comes through for the last drive and puts the game away. ( I know their great D-Line was tired and deflated by then)

    All these things have not been characteristic of Pitt teams for a long time.

    Hopefully this wasn’t an outlier and is something to build on.

    H2P!

    Liked by 3 people

  35. The other thing that is different about this team is that the offense and defense are at the same level without one being far behind the other in talent. This hasn’t happened for quite a while either. Hopefully defensive special teams will come around.

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  36. Back to football, this upcoming game is a real worry. Pitt usually succumbs to trap games, and this is a team that could actually beat them. At least so far there are no obvious bulletin board items to increase upset motivation, but if Pitt is still focused on that TN game we could be looking at an upset loss.

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    1. VoR, I think PITT goes 5-0 then there is the VT game and the gauntlet to run with Clemson next up. It’s going to be a real test of mental toughness not to get looking too far ahead (which I just did) but that’s why we hire coaches. Gotta keep each game in perspective and take them one at a time.

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Great synopsis, GC! A lot of good happened last Saturday.

    There are a lot of quirks with WordPress. Majors and I have been dealing with an issue of not being able to scroll through the comments beyond 40 or 50 in a post. I think WordPress calls it a Page. Reed has worked with us to try to resolve it but no success yet. It happened right after a WordPress software update. That makes me suspicious that it is a WordPress problem or possibly a user problem on my end. Very frustrating. And we have probably all had WordPress hold or delete a comment from time to time. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    I have had more success just going to the PittPOV.com site from my browser rather than through the WordPress app.

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    1. I solved some of my problems by using my wife’s email on my hand held devices and not using wordpress. Try getting a second email address.

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    2. I changed it to 150 comments.

      However if I change the comment string to have the newest on top then a reader has to scroll the whole way to the end of the comments and then scroll back up to read them in order to follow conversations.

      I did that early on with the blog and the readers hated it. So, I’ll keep that as is.

      I go to the POV through Google Chrome.

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    1. Yes Ike, he’s wonderful. Next time you see him ask if he ever shared the POV readers’ three page letter with those many great suggestions for bettering the Pitt fan experience with his “Fan Committee” so perhaps they could address real issues and solutions in their partnership with Lyke and Borghetti.

      Oh, while your at it ask him if he’s ever written an article on here requesting solid fan input from the many thousands of Pitt fans who read this blog…because I never saw one. Now, I might be mistaken about that last part and someone will correct me (and direct me to the article) I’m sure if I am.

      But I just remember him bagging out of the POV because of the negativity which, if I’m correct in my remembrance, meant he missed out on the most positive thing I’ve ever seen a group of Pitt fans do.

      See, this is why I think the Pitt fan committee is a load of bull…six years in existence with 24 members per year and has anyone on here ever once been asked for personal input? Not via form letter or email but actual work on their end to get true fan input. I know they will never ask me, although EJ still offers me a media pass, but it wouldn’t be hard at all to come onto websites and solicit real opinions and suggestions.

      Tell him ‘hello’ from me also.

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      1. You do a great job Reed and provide a valuable platform for Pitt fans. Thank you for the time and effort you put into this. Some people just can’t face the truth. Pitt is and has always been a closed shop. That’s why the institution awash with cash can put on mediocre football teams. Hopefully not this year. But Western Michigan is a trap game if I ever saw one.

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