Jordan Addison is gone – we think. Bought for two million dollars, maybe three. There were also rumors of a house. Well USC can have him. He won us a Billitnekoff. He won us a coastal, and (with Kenny), helped us secure an ACC Championship. My beef is not with Jordan, because while three Million dollars isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things, it still changes the life of 95% of families in this country.

My beef is with USC. Lincoln Riley. Oh yeah, it’s the wild wild west out there, and USC has walked into the saloon with the six-guns blazing. Well let me say this to you, Lincoln Riely. You’re in year one of a rebuild. Pitt’s in year eight of a Program. So go ahead, shoot up the place. Then amble up the the bar and twirl that shiny pearl-handled revolver (snicker) around that tiny finger (yeah that’s a small hand reference), and blow smoke off the barrel. You still wouldn’t be man enough to play Pitt. Even if you did steal their best player. You know why? Because they’d beat you. Our rag-tag bunch of three-star recruits would take your gang of four-and-five star prima-donnas, and punch them in the jaw, boat race them up and down the field and leave them lying on the turf, bruised and bleeding. Because you know why? Hard work. Dedication. Principles. You think your west-coast finesse can beat Pittsburgh Physicality? You think your locker room is tight? You think 4-8 USC (one year removed) is better than 10-3 Clemson was last year? Better think again homey.

You see, money makes you soft. And sunshine makes you easy. It’s rain and hills and hard work makes you a Man. And you ain’t that. You’re just a cheating riverboat gambler who’s moved onto the next hustle. So take your one year three-million-dollar rental. Take him. Put him up in that million dollar house and let him soak up that So-Cal sunshine. You’ll get what you pay for. No more, no less. But you won’t get heart, or soul. or anything that resembles culture. Because you can’t buy that. For any price.

Oh, and Heather Lyke, I know you’re reading this. Even if Addison doesn’t go west, I think it’s time to get USC on the schedule. Because this one’s personal. For the fans. For the team. For the future of College Football.


Michaelangelo Monteleone