Thoughts on the game written more or less in the style of Shakespeare and presented to no one.  Read at your own risk. 

Nineteen years past, nearly to the day, Pitt did beat Penn State.  And there I sat, high above the fray perched on the edge of an aged Colosseum, watching with bated breath as Walt Harris’ charges mounted as fine a defensive effort as could be hoped.   225 meagre yards the Lions totaled, and a mere 161 through the air.  ‘Twas nothing less than glorious.

Today we face those same Lions, (though they be outed and shamed) not on the edge of three rivers, but in their house of deceit and decrepitude.  And if we are to emerge victorious, a similar effort will be needed.  For I fear (and it is evident) that our offense will be offensive.  Pitt has no Kevan Barlow who can deliver nine-and-ninety yards of rushing (nor offensive line to pave the way).  No seasoned and mistake-free quarterback.  No young Biletnikoff candidate.  At best, our charges are young and untested.  And to think that they might succeed against the starry might of Nittany would be the height of naivety.

For Franklin can recruit, can he not?

And so we rely then on the strength and savvy of Twyman and Watts, Alexandre and Jones.  We rely then on the speed and quickness of Johnson and Pine, Campbell and Bright.  We rely on the cover skills of our vaunted secondary.  And should any one of the eleven tire through the day, we rely on the untested depths of our roster, who might chisel for themselves a name in the hallowed halls of this fabled rivalry, if only once in their lifetimes.

We rely on the fates, those three spinners of our destiny, who with one warp or weft can nudge our future to one of greatness or one of despair.  Oh Apollo come again and ply them with wine, trick them into an outcome most favorable, for we will gladly find them a replacement sacrifice from the ACC Coastal.

We rely on the leg of Kessman, unreliable though as it may be.  The underhanded hands of Christendoulou.  Far they’ve travel’d, and steady we hope they arrive.  We rely on the sure-handedness of Ffrench if such a thing can be realized, and the sure-tackling of all coverage teams.  We rely on the hope that we can withhold our holds during any and all returns of the kick.  We rely on the kicks of Christendoulou as well, may they atone for the sins of previous encounters.

Alas ’tis likely these hopes will be dashed upon the rocks of ineptitude.  For this team, while it aspires to greatness, seldom achieves it.  Is it too much to ask for thirty men to once play above their mortal capacity for sixty minutes?  Is it too much to ask for one pure dose of perfection?  For if not there is another dose more potent that awaits, sweet and brown, one that befuddles the senses and leads to a deep and yet fitful slumber.  Play on Pitt Panthers, play hard and play well.  Lead your passions to the field and leave them there, for they will do you no good on the morrow.  And when the closing rays of the afternoon light shine upon that decrepit house the hope will be that we refrain:

Hail to Pitt, hail to Pitt every loyal son.

Hail to Pitt, hail to Pitt ’til the victory is won

For if not, we shall despair forever.

Loyal sons (and daughters) once again defeated.




34 thoughts on “A Penn State Soliloquy

  1. After partaking in “ the Soliloquy” I strangely feel more refined, mental acuity improved and socially elevated to a level far above those who worship the false gods of Mt. Nittany !

    Liked by 4 people

  2. From The (OTHER) Bard, and perhaps, most apropos to today’s battle:

    “To be, or not to be. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?” (Emphasis added).

    Methinks William was speaking to PITT / psux, 2019

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Well done Mike, very entertaining but to put it another way. Non-Shakespearian.

    Beat the crap out of the Nitts and embarrass them in there own house.

    Go Pitt

    Liked by 2 people

  4. That’s some fine work there. Not surprising coming from a fine young lad named none other than Michaelangelo Monteleone. Dilly Dilly is right Mark, I’m mad at myself for not to be wearing my tuxedo or some fine PITT garb when I read that. Actually I don’t own a tuxedo but I have some pretty fine PITT garb. Off I go to don the garb and lets hope they are not made from the ultra fine silk threads that made up the emperor’s new clothes

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Is it too much to ask that Kenny plays lights out
    Is it too much to ask for the line protecting Kenny and opening up holes
    Is it too much to ask for Pitt’s D to play aggressive and mean
    Is it too much to ask for good special teams
    Is it too much to ask that Pitt doesnt fall asleep at halftime
    Is it too much to ask for a win???

    Ask and you shall receive


    Liked by 3 people

  6. Raining here in Latrobe as well. I don’t like this at all. state penn college is only an couple hours away and the weather heads that way. I don’t like these conditions for Kenny and obviously Kirk Chrisdoulou. << I took a shot at that spelling? Let’s hope it dries out before game time which is quickly approaching. The good news is that I have my chicken wings on the grill and they are doing just fine.

    Meanwhile, I imagine Fran has been tailgating on his driveway since 7:00 this morning. Let the good vibes roll boy and girls!


  7. MM, that was some fine writing. I would love to see that extraordinary piece further distributed to other Pitt sites where it can be even more broadly appreciated. It calls upon all of us to think big and positive, and to understand that great things are possible when the doers reach beyond themselves to strive for excellence.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey pitt76 – allow me to quote from one of my favorite movies, Kelly’s Heroes:

      “Moriarty – stop with the negative waves!”


      Liked by 2 people

  8. Very well done, MM. Although as someone who prefers formulas and conversion factors to touchy feely emotional analysis, I found that you brought back horrible memories of high school lit classes.

    Teacher: What message does the author convey in those passages?
    Me: That death is inevitable?
    Teacher: No. That love conquers all!
    Me: Whaaattt???

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Michaelangelo – you penned an awesome piece right there.

    We need to get this to EJ Borghetti! (And to your writing professors at Pitt! 😊)

    Thank you, MM, for a very good read.

    Hail to Pitt.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wait, this delay isn’t the work of poopy pants but the work from the Big Man upstairs. I guess he wants to wash down that cesspool in central Pa? Clear the way, here comes PITT!


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