I Dream of Genie

I Dream of Genie

Submitted by Mark Kerestan (PittPT)

  Imagine if you will…… you are walking down the street in Oakland on the way to The Porch for a gathering of the  POV faithful, when you trip on something lying on the sidewalk. You turn around and pick it up and think, “Who left a gravy boat on the middle of the sidewalk?” Then on closer inspection you realize that it is an old-fashioned lamp, like the kind that would hold a genie in the fairytale.

Feeling a little foolish, but with nothing to lose, you rub the lamp. In a flash a genie materializes in front of you. Not Robin Williams, but in fact an attractive, tan,  blond haired woman wearing a blouse in one of the many variations of Pitt Gold, and with her buff arms crossed in front of her, like Barbara Eden. She says “Greetings, I am the University of Pittsburgh Sports Genie”. Incredulous but willing to play along you respond “Great, do I get 3 wishes?”

The genie reports “Unfortunately no. I used up two of my wishes at my last two stops (OSU and EMU) and have just one selection to offer you.” “You mean one wish, right?” you respond. The genie sighs and answers “Again, sadly,  my superiors have limited my resources and the best I can do is offer you three options for major sports major sports programs at Pitt. The selection you choose will determine the course of Pitts Football and basketball programs for the next 30 years. Are you ready to hear your choices?”

Thinking that you must be dreaming you enthusiastically agree. “Very well then”, the genie begins.

Before you are three paths for Pitt football and basketball. With Choice 1), The Pitt football program has a resurgence, winning 8-12 games a year, regularly competing for the Coastal Division, winning the Coastal Division every 4 years and winning the ACC every 8 years.

The FB team would regularly participate in top-tier bowl games including the New Years  Six. However, along with the success of the FB program the basketball program would continue to struggle mightily, winning 15-18 games per year and never really competing in the ACC and never competing in the NCAA Tournament”

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