A Pitt Christmas Carol

Here is a Christmas present to all the Pitt fans out there in POV land and thank you very much Hobie  for sharing it…

T’was Christmas eve in Oakland when all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.

When out on the front porch there arose such a clatter, Ebenezer Pitt sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

He opened the front door and what to his wondrous eyes did appear, but a ghost saying Hail to Pitt!! and dressed in Pitt gear.

“Who are you?” asked Ebenezer.

“I’m the ghost of sports past,” was the reply.

“Long past? he asked. “Pitt’s past,” the ghost replied.

“Why are you here?”

“It’s about this front porch you have, there is no curb appeal. In the 20’s and 30’s Pitt’s front porch was very attractive, much like Alabama’s is today. Now, not so much.”

“But we decided back then to emphasize academics and downplay sports. We built an inspiring Cathedral of Learning as testament to that decision. Have you seen our nationality rooms?”

“Oh yes, very nice. But they are the rooms behind the front door. You yourself said sports is the front porch of the university that students see first, and you tore down Pitt’s biggest cathedral to sports, Pitt stadium. You emphasized academics, not that there is anything wrong with that, but maybe instead of a weight of 80 academic to 20 sports, or 70 to 30, could you have made it 60 to 40?”

“But we put a beautiful basketball arena in its place.  Laid out all wrong for TV, but nice nonetheless. We used to have really good basketball teams.”

“Used to indeed. Well gotta go now, expect another ghostly apparition in about an hour. You make your decisions… then your decisions make you.”

It seemed like 60 or 70 decades passed, not 60 minutes, when the doorbell rang.

“Who’s there?’ said Ebenezer.

After singing a chorus of “Sweet Caroline,” the apparition said, “I’m the ghost of Pitt sports present.”

Upon opening the door, Ebenezer found a right jolly old elf holding a Fanta and Ebenezer laughed at the sight in spite of himself. “I suppose you’ve come to complain about the front porch,” Ebenezer said with a smile.

“It’s no laughing matter,” said the apparition, his sunny disposition turning serious. “Why do you laugh at the empty seats at the Pete, or the yellow seats at Heinz? Why do you laugh at the mediocre wins and losses records in football and a once proud basketball program seemingly in shambles? Why do you celebrate ancient football victories over once upon a time rivals and not have more victories today in the your own conference? That’s your front porch. That is what people see. Do you like your curb appeal?”

Ebenezer’s head drooped along with his smile. “Yes, spirit, I agree it’s not a pretty sight – yoi and double yoi.”

“If you think the front porch looks shabby now, wait until the ghost of Pitt sports future arrives,” the once affable apparition said as he faded away. “Expect the future in an hour.”

In an hour’s time Ebenezer saw the bleak future. It was so ugly, I can’t report it here.

“Gloom, despair and agony on me,” cried Ebenezer. “Tell me spirit, is this vision what could be or what will be?” he pleaded. “If it’s not too late, I can change. I can fix up the front porch. We’ll restore pride to Pitt sports teams, student and fans. Please, apparition, please! I promise to keep Pitt sports in my heart every day of every year.”

And Ebenezer Pitt was as good as his word given on that special day and kept Pitt sports in his heart every day of every year from then on.  More money went to upgrade facilities;  to fund an on campus stadium, to give coaches and assistant coaches a raise to competitive levels (and even higher than competitive levels) and to travel throughout the country to recruit great new ball players using private jets. Now the front porch was beautiful and everyone was happy.

Well POVers, all’s well the ends well…

H2P to all and to all a good night,

Hobie