There are a bunch of things I could write to start this column off but I’ll hold back and just ask the same question I seem to ask a few times each year when discussing Pitt football…

Is anyone at all surprised by this?

In case a reader has just tuned into Pitt football news after an absence of a few days here is the gist of today’s topic:

PITTSBURGH—Pitt head coach Pat Narduzzi announced this morning that Matt Canada, the Panthers’ offensive coordinator, has accepted the same job at LSU. Canada will remain on the Pitt staff through the Dec. 28 New Era Pinstripe Bowl against Northwestern before departing for Baton Rouge.

“On behalf of our entire program, I want to thank Matt for his many important contributions, on and off the field, this past year,” Narduzzi said. “It was important that Matt remain with our team through the bowl game and he had no hesitation about that. He wants to send this team, and especially our seniors, out the right way. Our search for a new offensive coordinator will fully begin after the bowl. Our primary focus is on a successful completion to the 2016 season.

“When you hire great people and have success, your staff will always be in demand. I’m confident we will find another outstanding person and professional to continue our momentum.”

Which churns up another question.  Just why the f*ck is Pitt waiting until Dec 29th to search for a new Offensive Coordinator?  That is so Steve Pedersonish it has to be taken as a cruel joke at us Pitt fans’ expense. It’s like “Oh, everyone wants to come to Pitt – we have lots of time to hire an OC before LOI Day.

Let’s parse this press release just for fun, breaking it down to what was said and what Narduzzi really meant.

Pitt head coach Pat Narduzzi announced this morning that Matt Canada, the Panthers’ offensive coordinator, has accepted the same job at LSU.”  

It with a saddened heart that someone who I pulled off the trash heap after being fired by NC state turned around and poked us in the eye with the shitty end of the stick as soon as possible. That’s some gratitude for you.  NC State was 7-6 and only 57th in offense so Matt had no other job offers yet we took a chance on him because I knew him from years ago – and this is how he says thanks!”

Canada will remain on the Pitt staff through the Dec. 28 New Era Pinstripe Bowl against Northwestern before departing for Baton Rouge.”

Just wait, this SOB is going to charge us Per Diem for these extra two weeks he’s hanging around.  I think he actually believes that Pitt will pay that $46 per day for meals.  Since Pitt won’t do, cheap bastards, I’ll probably have to suck it up. 

Hell, that’s small price to play for not getting blown out of Yankee Stadium by a crappy Big Ten team – that wouldn’t look so good on my own resume (that I’m updating as we speak).

“On behalf of our entire program, I want to thank Matt for his many important contributions, on and off the field, this past year,” Narduzzi said.”

Piss-ant Canada should fly up to Madison, WI, drop down on those skinny-ass knees he has and kiss Paul Chryst’s rotund ass for all the talent he had on offense this season.  Any moron other than Jim Chaney could have gotten 35+ ppg out of those kids. Who the hell does he think he is?

“It was important that Matt remain with our team through the bowl game and he had no hesitation about that. He wants to send this team, and especially our seniors, out the right way.”

God – who wrote this crap piece o’ crap press release?  “...send this team out the right way..  WTF?  All Matt Canada  wants to do is kick back and hang out in Pittsburgh with no real concerns if we win or lose because he already has another job.  If he left now he’d have to do a ton of traveling around down south recruiting for LSU and that’s damn hard work. I know it is because I did some of that for MSU a few years ago.

Instead Matt will be hitting every New York City titty bar and fake Irish watering hole from Times Square to Yankee Stadium and be getting paid $46 bucks a day out of my cash to do so. Goddamn him!!!

“Our search for a new offensive coordinator will fully begin after the bowl. Our primary focus is on a successful completion to the 2016 season.”

Hah!  Nobody in the Pitt athletic department is really into this so called  ‘search’ right now because 1) that’s extra work and not fun and 2) half the staff wants out of here ASAP also. 

Shit, all that bald headed midget idiot “OC” had to do was call running plays to Conner, some passing plays to Henderson and Weah and slip in a tricky shovel pass here and there… Shit, anyone else could have score a butt load of points doing that also.

Bottom line here?  Take it from me, King Pat – this so-called ‘friend’ had nothing whatsoever to do with our fantastic offensive line that made everything happen anyway, even if he keeps telling LSU and everyone who will listen he did.  Again Matt,  plant another wet one on Coach Chryst’s ass for that gift he left you, you punk ass disloyal Canuk piece of crap!!

You’re really pissing me off now!!

“When you hire great people and have success, your staff will always be in demand. I’m confident we will find another outstanding person and professional to continue our momentum.”

Oh man!  It really should be Scott Barnes saying that about me after the bowl game when I leave Pitt rather than me having to pretend to say it about Canada now.  Well, Scotty (I call him Scotty)  will have a chance to use it when God sends me a new contract from some actual football school that believes money is supposed to be spent if you want to win games.

All those phone calls I’ve been making to the Big Ten schools I pretend to not care about but really are crazy jealous of and love so much?  Do you really think I’m dialing them up and just saying Merry Christmas? No siree – that will be a $4+M per in the NarDog LLC  bank account toot suite… unless Pitt wakes up and pays out some real jack. 

Ha, ha.  Seriously fans, that last part was a joke.  Lighten up will ya…

But I’ll walk, honest to God I will, and I mean it this time. If the shitbird who looks like he has bad-breath Matt Canada can get six figures for only one year at Pitt than I’m good for a ton of cash.  Can’t wait!!

Oh Matt, why are you doing this?  I thought we were friends man.  We had something real and tight and true and I could feel it in my gut.  What’s that again… I couldn’t hear you?  They have an on-Campus stadium…? 

Well then , now it all makes sense. 

Good luck and I really do wish it was that other coordinator who’s name is not to be mentioned by any other staff and not you.

Sincerely, Pat

243 thoughts on “E.J., Just Write Some Damn Thing Up…I’ll Sign It…

  1. For a 40 K stadium, I think the best alternative would be to build a domed stadium above the Monongehela, due south of Oakland, and install a high speed magnetic drive overhead tram from The Towers directly to the main gate – for the kids. Return trips don’t begin till after the game, and only take 2 min!

    1/2 the crowd can come by boat, and tailgate (I propose changing that term to “Watergate”) mid-river. 1/2 price admission for women showing up in thongs (slim ones only!). If the river freezes over for the last game or two, that opens up the opportunity for Pens fans to ice skate to and from (and probably no Thong Discounts).

    Since I haven’t frequented The City in the recent past, I’m just not sure about adequate parking along the river. I’d hate to waste $$ building above-the-river parking decks!

    So, let’s see: we’ve taken care of location, rapid convenient srudent transportation, and pre-game ritual availablilty (except, probably no corn hole sites). What’d I miss???

    Like

  2. Emel- wow! Who didn’t give him an invite. Have to wonder, tho: can he catch a tackle-eligible pass; run a Turtle Sweep; and/or complete a roll out pass?

    Like

  3. Lots of people know E.J. more than I do, but yes I consider him a friend and we talk sometimes. He would be a fantastic AD for Pitt.

    He’s put out more house fires and stopped bad decisions from happening many times. I’d hire him in a nano second for an executive position and not only just athletics connected.

    Like

  4. If you endorse EJ Reed, then I’m all in. He fits what I would like, a PITT man and he has the passion to match the fans and University. Quite frankly, I’m sick of outsiders that don’t understand the history of PITT. Both good and the bad. The man is loyal to the bone. One question. Will he stand up and fight for equal rights for PITT in the ACC? Not really sure of his backbone so to speak?

    Perhaps EJ posts on the POV and can answer these questions himself? …………………….ike

    H2P

    Like

  5. This is excellent. MacVittie gets another year to learn and grow and Pitt gets a guy that can throw.

    Hopefully Clark and maybe Reeves are ready. Along with Weah, Henderson and the rest.

    Our offense may not be as productive as last year but now has a lot of experience and talent.

    Hopefully we get a pass rush, and the young defenders come through.

    Like

  6. MacVittie ain’t going anywhere with 4 years of eligibility at Pitt. Who says he won’t beat out Browne for the starting job next year? Browne got beat out by a RS Freshman this year at USC. Hopefully the competition brings out the best in both of them.

    Like

  7. OK, now that we have some good news, I’ll chime in. No matter how hard some try to make us Pitt fans feel like shit when some bad news hits, just say NO! This is a different era with Narduzzi here now. The biggest problem that this program now faces is with the whinny bunch of pussies that call themselves Pitt Panther fans. Bitch, bitch, bitch, if I wanted to listen to shit like that all day I’d go listen to my wife complain about whatever is currently pissing her off presently, geez.

    Seriously, losing Canada stung but it also demonstrated that Pitt was willing to negotiate a higher salary for an OC with one good year at Pitt to his credit. With the checkbook opened, we can grab a seasoned experienced coach without having to troll for only bottom feeders from the MAC & such. As a matter of fact, anybody who is worth his weight as an OC in the first place has to be looking at the Pitt job as an opportunity with how the program is improving offensively & with the returning playmakers who have proven their worth this season. And just now, we’ve solved our QB problem for 2017 with Max Brown coming in. He will make us forget about how well Nate Peterman played for us this season, you’ll see, the guy is that good.

    & BTW, E.J. sounds like a guy I’d be interviewing for as our next AD if Barnes does fly the coop.

    And lastly, can we please stop with the OCS nonsense? It just isn’t going to happen. That’s as futile as wishing that all of on here just had a bigger prick, we’re going to just have to learn how to be satisfied with little old Upittbaseball.

    Like

  8. Baker and Reese both graduated with their incoming class, they are gone.

    Dantino is penciled in at center for next year and he is the projected 5th starter on the O-Line next year.

    Hoo-ray for today’s two recruits.

    Like

  9. Dr Thomas, I suspect you’re not new to blogs or message boards but you sure sound like it. This just in. People love to look at the glass half empty and yearn for the impossible. It’s what we do. I’m surprised at you. I think I’m as positive as the next guy but I have lots of suggestions to make PITT a whole lot better. It’s just nobody is listening…………..ike

    H2P

    Like

  10. ike, constructive criticism I get. But what’s the point in complaining about stuff that just isn’t going to ever be rectified? Pitt will always lose coaches to elite schools that can pay stupid money if necessary to get the man they want. Coach Canada earned his money this season and he’s aspiring to bigger and better things, maybe. He’s shown his hand, Pitt’s not in his future, I wish him luck, fuck him and on with our OC search.

    To listen to people moan & groan about how Pitt got dissed on and that we’re just a steeping stone, etc., etc., is a waste of energy IMO. It is what it is. Following Pitt this season was a hoot! Canada’s offense was fantastic, he’s gone come 12/28, so what? Next!

    Like

  11. It is great to end the day with two strong recruits and change the subject as quickly as possible. Almost like it was planned that way. But the press had two big articles today, it will be a footnote tomorrow. Hopefully more good news is on the way.

    Thanks Ike, They were redshirt juniors, surprised they didn’t stay another year.

    Like

  12. OK good Dr, The good that came about with Canada’s departure was the offer PITT extend to the outgoing coach. A good sign for the future.

    gc, I’m thinking Reese and Baker took a look behind them and could see some serious talent gaining on them. I thank them for their service and great foresight. 🙂

    Like

  13. Reed, I lived in the Burgh all my life and read the local rags, listen to local sports talk constantly and have NEVER heard anyone have an unkind word to say about EJ. Your endorsement of him is good to hear.

    Like

  14. Pitt’s Roster lists the following OL: Ford, Bookser, Morgan, Grimm, Galiyas, Dintino, Paulina, Benbrook, Jones-Smith, Morrissey, Pilato, Hargrove, Officer, Britton, and O’Neill. The new recruits will also add to this list. I’m also optimistic like Dr. Tom and think the future will be bright. I hope Narduzzi plans to spend additional money to keep the other valuable staff members with Pitt.

    Like

  15. The future is bright if we’re not having this same conversation about Narduzzi this time next year.

    National sports commentators are already throwing out Narduzzi’s name as a possible replacement at ND. Of course we all wouldn’t blame him for leaving….

    Meanwhile, next year looks truly exciting….enjoy it while you can Pitt fans!

    Like

Leave a Comment Please (and don't hold back...)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s